writing
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Dear Ave, How are you? It’s been a while. I know you’re in a different state now, probably unable ever to answer that question I just asked but I still ask it like a fool. And I wish you are happy, or whatever it is you’re supposed to be when you’ve gone over the other…
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Dear Ave, It’s 20 to 1am on a September evening. It’s been a rainy September so far. How are you? I want to ask but I know it’s silly of me to ask this. But I have this feeling in my gut that you are somewhere still. Because you are. You were alive, and you…
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Dear Ave, Almost the end of May. Sitting in a coffeeshop in Kemptown called Marmalade. Off today. Went to my diabetes appointment this morning and they weighed me and I’m still 80kg. Still need to lose that 10kg I’ve been wanting to lose for years. Still need to learn how to drive. Still need to…
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Dear Ave, How are you ma? I seem to be swinging between days of self sabotage and days of productivity. Yesterday I didn’t do any exercise. Worse, I ordered Deliveroo twice and put it on credit card. I didn’t feel especially sad. Just tired and demotivated, and nothing could’ve made me get on the treadmill.…
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Dear Ave, This week was weird. I felt like I had been waiting for this week to arrive. Your birthday came, and I busied myself with preparing food offerings. I got some lilies, head-on shrimp, seabass, some nuts, kiwis, a bar of Toblerone for papa, took out the frozen Eng Bee Tin Hopia monggo and…
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Dear Ave, Happy birthday. On your first birthday in heaven, I want to let people know who you are. Mama, you were always smiling. And laughing. and you were soft. You were soft inside and out. Or maybe that’s because you were with Papa, who was the toughest person I’ve ever met. Or so I…
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Dear Ave, I miss you so much. I wish you didn’t die. That you’re still here with me. I returned to work on Thursday and felt quite dizzy, I think it’s my body adjusting back to work again. Or it could be the amount of blood pressure pills I am on. I was walking home…
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Dear Ave, I went home to see you, but I didn’t expect to leave with you gone. So many things happened in the last weeks of your life. All I can write about is what happened with us. And I’m not ready to write about all of it. But there are things that I never…
Dear Avelina Love Hershey 