loss
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Dear Ave, It’s 20 to 1am on a September evening. It’s been a rainy September so far. How are you? I want to ask but I know it’s silly of me to ask this. But I have this feeling in my gut that you are somewhere still. Because you are. You were alive, and you…
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Dear Ave, Yesterday I dreamt that I was hospital, feeling short of breath. As the dream went on, I felt more and more short of breath. Tom has a video of pinching my cheek and nose and me not waking up. I only woke up when he called my name. I was laying on the…
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Dear Ave, How are you? It’s been a while, Ma. I have at least two drafts that I haven’t been able to publish. My last post is almost 3 months ago. For some reason I couldn’t write anything coherent enough to post. But today, I am sick. It started 2 days ago at work, when…
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Dear Ave, It’s been 6-7 weeks since I last wrote. I tried to write “How grief feels like during the festive season” but for some reason it’s still sitting on my draft, and I feel like it’s something that I might never finish. January came with its cold chill and I think of you less…
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Dear Ave, All I’ve done for the past 3 months is go to work, read, and eat. Snuggling beside Tom at night and waking up naturally on my days off is my life’s ultimate pleasure these days. I have eaten more and more carbs and slept so much more and have dreamt to many things.…
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Dear Ave, I married Tom two days ago, May 4, 2024. It was at Nymans National Trust Garden, where I’d always wanted to marry him. We had our first kiss there. That place is unbelievably beautiful. You told Tom in August 2022, just after you’d started your chemo: “Please look after my daughter for me.”…
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Dear Ave, I miss you so much. I wish you didn’t die. That you’re still here with me. I returned to work on Thursday and felt quite dizzy, I think it’s my body adjusting back to work again. Or it could be the amount of blood pressure pills I am on. I was walking home…
Dear Avelina Love Hershey 