Dear Ave,

Life goes on. But it feels empty and void of something to look forward to. I have regressed to stress/emotional eating and my days off sees me ordering frood from Deliveroo and watching Netflix/ reading a book, having a nap in the afternoon, having dinner, sleeping. I don’t go out much. I try not to think of you anymore because the sadness I feel is too deep and intense. I try not to go there. I focus on work. I’ve been so mean to Tom lately. Distant from everyone. Small things irritate me so much. Tired. I’m always tired these days. and miserable. I’m always a second away from crying in despair. I’ve always been depressive, but not like this. I don’t know what I am anymore. Tom is anchoring me. Lovely Tom. But as I’m writing this my eyes feel heavy even though I’ve just woken up from a nap. My lips feel dry-a feeling I hate the most. And I feel tired.

I miss you. The littlest things make me think of you. I saw a man happily come out of an establishment the other day, and the thought of you not being able to do that, such a simple, everyday thing, filled me with so much sadness. I miss you Ma. I miss you so much. I just want you to be alive again.

Your daughter

Hershey